Schatten
by Julian Amsel
Summary: Visited by a lover who exists only in his dreams, Ran longs for something -real-.....


Schatten Warnings: Dreams, bizarreness, emotional Ran, mild fluff 

Author's notes: This is... a bit odd. There are only a few people who would really understand it... Any way, I might write another fic to elaborate on what's going on in this, but for now... I'm not sure. Pfft. 

Another note: This is based on some of the goings-on in the Weiss Kreuz RP Group in Furcadia. Many thanks to Schu-kun, Nagi-chan and Trig, as well as the rest of 'em. I love you guys.. ^_^;   
~Ran-chan 

And now... on with the fic. Or whatever you'd call it. ^_^; 

"Schatten" 

Those eyes.... It seems they're always in my mind, watching my thoughts. So cold... I wish they would go away. I wish they would just leave me alone.... Beautiful, like emeralds, but, still... empty... Only to be warm in my dreams....   
I look out the window, staring up at the sky. You can't see the stars; the lights of the city block them out completely... Just like any kindness those eyes might hold. Blocked out by the other things, the evil things, that lie within them....   
Flashes of light as cars pass by, then nothing but shadow. Shadows.... I look out into the night, wondering. Are you there, my Shadow? I strain my eyes, frowning slightly. No.... not tonight. I can't see you in the shadows tonight.... Though I wish you would show yourself to me, despite those eyes, so much like his...   
It's always bothered me, how you look so much like him, my Shadow... The exact image of the one I hate, the same in everything but heart... Do you know how much it hurts when I see him, my Shadow? Looking into his eyes is almost like looking into yours... except, his are cold and mocking...   
I close my eyes, sighing slightly as I prepare to go to you, as I did last night, and so many nights before. Is it always going to stay this way? I wish I knew. I love you, I need you, my Shadow.... but must I hold you only in my dreams?   
________________________   
  
Above, a honey-coloured moon shone brightly. Like a jewel in the night sky, it reflected light down to earth, not caring who or what it touched. A soft wind blew, stirring the leaves of the trees, making ripples in the otherwise still water.... Ran sighed. Waiting... He was waiting again. He didn't like waiting.... but it was always worth it in the end.   
There it was.... footsteps, interrupting the silence of the night. Gradually louder, louder, and then.. Arms wrapping themselves gently around his waist, and a soft voice, murmuring, "'Evening, liebe.... Sorry I kept you waiting so long...."   
A rare smile flickered across Ran's lips and he turned to look into deep green eyes, filled with a very familiar warmth.. "It's all right," he murmured, stealing a kiss from his lover. "You're one of the few things worth waiting for...."   
"You always say that... I'm starting to think you'll never get tired of me.."   
"Of course I wouldn't," he said softly, gently running his fingers through his lover's impressive carnelian-coloured mane. "I could never, ever get tired of you...."   
"You mean it, liebe?"   
"Yes...... I love you."   
Emerald eyes smiled, and gentle hands caressed his cheek- there was no need for a reply. Ran closed his eyes, sighing slightly. If only things could stay this way forever....   
_______________________________________________________ 

The moon had sunk low on the horizon; soon it would be day. Ran frowned slightly, willing the time to pause. 'Just give me more time,' he thought. 'Just a bit more time...'   
"I have to go now, liebe," his lover murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I can't stay any more..."   
"But.... but why?" Ran replied, gritting his teeth. "You always leave me... Can't you just stay a little longer? Just a few more minutes.... Please.."   
A sigh, a look of regret.. "No, I can't... I'm sorry." His lover paused, frowning. "Something bothering you, liebe?"   
"N.. no..."   
Emerald eyes narrowed slightly, something odd glittering within them. "Come, now... You know you can't lie to a telepath..."   
He hung his head, a slight blush colouring his cheeks. "I just... I wish that you were...." Ran paused, his mouth dry. He couldn't say it... he didn't want to say it.   
".....Real?" his lover murmured, sighing slightly. "I.... see...." He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Ran.. Don't you understand? I -am- real... I'm as real as you are...."   
"Then why can't I see you when I'm awake?" Ran protested, clenching his fists. "Why does it seem like you're just... "   
"A dream?" His eyes opened, a sorrowful light to them. "Ran... liebe... I.. I don't know what to say..."   
"Promise me this," Ran murmured, taking his hands. "Promise me, when I wake up, you'll be right there beside me... Promise me that you won't just exist in my dreams any more...."   
Tears welled up in his lover's eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered, looking away. "I can't do that. Yet. But... I'll see what I can do." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I.. I have to go now. Goodbye, Ran...." And he disappeared, leaving him alone.   
"....Ja ne... Schatten," Ran murmured, sighing. It was time to wake...   
_________________________________ 

Gentle sunlight on his cheek, calling him. His eyes fluttered open and he stared at the ceiling, frowning. "Schatten....," he whispered, choking back a sob. "Why? Why can't you be here- and why do you have to look so much like _him_?" 

.... And from the shadows, the shadow-lover murmured, in a voice the assassin couldn't hear.... "I'm sorry, liebe.... You'll never know how sorry I am. But I'll see what I can do, to grant your wish... I owe you that much, at least." 


End file.
